Nathaniel Millward / Stockyard6 / Alterloth


March 2011: Where it all began.

     I used to live with my mom back in 2011, and to be honest our relationship wasn't the greatest. I always felt that I needed to escape, so when march rolled around I decided to try something new. A furry convention. I was always told how amazing they were, and that everyone who went was super friendly, and that definitely turned out to be true. Since I didn't have a car myself, I had to car pool with a complete stranger.

    That was pretty nerve racking for me since I had always been a bit paranoid. On the way to said convention the driver had to pick up 2 people. An artist, and A Musician. All my life I have had a ton of bad experiences while trying to make friends, so it was a complete surprise that they were both very inviting. I ended up staying in a hotel room with all three of them for that one night, and then ended splitting off the next morning.

    When I came down from my new hotel room it was about 9:30am, and I wasn't entirely sure what to do with myself (as it was my first time coming to a place this). I decided to pull out my camera so I could film my experience at this new event, and keep myself distracted from all the unfamiliar activity that was going on.

    It was pretty much instantly that a dude dressed up in a Raccoon fursuit grabbed my camera me and wanted me to pose. That was embarassing, But to my rescue came that musician from the day before. He didn't exactly get me out of posing, but he didn't let me do it alone.

    We posed together and laughed as the Raccoon cheered us on until finally it was over. I was free from the torture that was the embarassment. Due to the fact that it was morning, and we had just worked our butts off for the Raccoon photoshoot; We decided it was time for breakfast. Yep, this musician and I were randomly getting breakfast together.

    We walked especially slow toward our destination because we were so deep in conversation getting to know eachother. It was one of the best feelings that I've ever experienced, even to this day, and it made me feel so much better about the everything. And I mean everything. We ate, Conversed, Walked back to the hotel, and then split up because he had some things to do.

    I didn't see him much until the last day of the event, when my ride home decided to leave me in Toronto. I was stranded. Luckily, I was able to get in contact with him again, and he let me stay in his hotel room for the final of reservation, and that's when we really started to connect. I did eventually get home safe, so no worries there!


January 2012: Reconnected.

    It was only a handful of months later that I moved to Toronto, and I just hung around home until January 2012 came up. Someone happened to be holding a Make-Up Birthday party for that musician guy I met at the convention! That was pretty exciting because I really enjoyed hanging out with him back then, but let's go ahead and give hime a real name, huh? His name was Nathaniel, but he often went by the title of "Horlequism".

    If my memory serves correctly, he was turning 27! Well not technically. It was at this party that Nathan finally found out that I moved to Toronto, and boy was he excited. So excited that he starting coming to visit me every chance he had during the weeks to pass, which we spent talking about the things we both liked, and when the topic of music came up.. Oh man!

    He introduced me to a few bands which we're really cool, and also taught me about what sythesizers were. They're awesome! I honestly never knew there was a difference between an Keyboard and a Synth. One really great thing about his visits was that I always learned somethign new, but about him, and about music. When he found out that I was a totally terrible wannabe musician in-training, it excited him more because he had one more person to talk about that stuff with.

    It excited me too, because when I looked at him I saw a celebrity. I still look at him that way now. Actually. There was this one time he came over, and brought his KORG X-50 synth over so I could play around with it, which he ended leaving at my place for like 2 weeks. I learned a lot about synths during that, and even created soundscape that I titled Ambient Darkness. It wasn't the most amazing thing, but it sounded cool!

    We ended up becoming very close over the course of the year, with hanging out, Jamming, and discussing music. But sadly as his life began to become a bit more complicated, he ended up moving to Cornwall, Ontario, which really sucked. It was okay though. He still found the time to come Toronto once in awhile, and instead of staying in a Hotel, I let him and his girlfriend stay in my room while they were in town.

    There was a ton more musical action going on with each visit, and even a convention or two where I got to spend time with him. One of the conventions we went to had a band playing named "Tupperware Remic Party", and I've honestly never heard such unique music in my life. It was the first real concert of my life, and I had so much fun hanging out with those two. But alas, once the convention ended they had to go back home.

    He ended up living up in Cornwall for at least 2 years, working for his parents, and just living his life. We still kept in touch via Facebook, and text messages so it wasn't all bad.


February 2015: The Final Chapter.

    Tick tock went the clock, until February 2014. This was the happiest day of my life, and it will always be. Nathaniel and his girlfriend, Jelica, were moving in with me, and god was I excited. When he finally moved in, Got settled, Found a job, and So forth; There wasn't a single day we didn't hang out.

    Lost time was made up double, he showed me more of his instruments, and JAM JAM JAM we did! We planned on forming a band together, Recorded some silly experiments he had in mind, and even did a song together (which sadly, we never completely finished).

    He lived with me for about 10 months until life got complicated. I moved in with my girlfriend, He moved out with his girlfriend, and we didn't really talk after that. We didn't hate eachother or anything, but as I said before.. "life got complicated".

    No more than a month later I was informed of something extremely terrible, that even still makes it hard to go back to my old self. I used to be a flirty type, happy most of time, and could go days, or weeks without any intense negative feeling, but of course when someone tells you that your best friend passed away.. Well;

But that's my story: Who was he?

    His name was Lawrence John "Nathaniel" Millward, and he was a ridiculously talented human being. Not only was he capable of putting a smile on anyone's face, but he was also understanding to an extent that I couldn't begin to explain.

    His main passion in life was to entertain, but mostly to perfrom music live. A small portion of his performances were being dressed up as a Husky, or a Tiger. Though he admittedly wanted to get a costume made so he could run around as a fly too. He even had this really silly, and yet adorable voice that he would use while he Role-Played his Husky character.

    This right here is a prime example of how goofy he got with the voice, and just how silly he could be in general.

    He was into a lot of different music, some of which I may never know since his range was so wide. A few favorites that I know for a fact he liked were House, Hardstep, Trance, Industrial, Metal, Rock, Progressive-Anything, and Gothy dark stuff.

    I know for a fact he liked Dream Theatre, Opeth, Rush, Deadmau5, Die Antwoord, Marilyn Manson, and Me. He made it VERY clear how much he liked my music. (I also got a bunch of files from his music folder, so I could learn more about him.--Thanks Jelica-- and to my surprise, a bunch of my music was in there with all the really awesome stuff he used to listen to.)

    When it came to composing his own music, he was basically god on earth for his skill with a large assortment of instruments. Synth, Bass, Guitar, Drums, Flute, Bongos, Other Percussion, and even Vocals. You name it, and he could probably play it like a Master.

    That's a pretty big reason why I looked up to him, and always went to him if I ever need a musical opinion on something. He also had a tendancy to experiment with different styles of music, as well as different 'sounds' (SFX, Took Everyday noises and inserted them in music). The man was a genius. A genius who made me the artist I am today.